I keep telling myself to make a Life Updates post one of these days, since I'm 99% sure I haven't posted since like, November. HAH NOT EVEN CLOSE - October 18th. But 'Drowning in Life' is still very appropriate. And Life and Work and Things are happening all over the place and I'm too busy to even write, and if that doesn't tell me that my life is out of order, I don't know what does.

So, let's start with a journal post.

( Work is craziness and awful and awesome and exhausting and challenging and craptastic and so many things all at once. )

( In other news, I have a new Health Issue: )

As for bigger news, ( my roommate/best friend/Heart-Sister Shi-chan is pregnant. )

-Yawns- I think my thoughts are finally winding down again ...

Shi-chan's birthday was today, and some friends took us out to dinner. They are FABULOUS people, and we all had a great time. These friends are an amazing couple that blow me away every time I see them. Like I'm being reminded once again just how much I genuinely like them both. They're the kind of couple that balance each other out: she ranted to us about her awful day, while he listened patiently and nodded along with occasional annoyed commentary on her behalf, and later she listened patently while he gushed at me me in great detail about a movie that I'd reminded him off and how much he loved the beer he'd ordered and half a dozen other things. They also share this fantastic ability to somehow energize the people around them. I'd been fighting a nap all afternoon, and after two and a half hours with them, I'm just now getting sleepy again, four hours later.

And he wore a kilt to dinner. With a T-shirt with a lionhead symbol on it. He's good people. ^_^

Watching them also made me think about my own romantic relationship, and just how happy I am in it. It was a lovely feeling. ♥

It still feels like there's so many fun and crazy stories I should be telling. Laughing hysterically at the carwash this morning because Shi-chan's car had been horribly bird-bombed the night before, and it was so bad the guys working there were laughing too and offered to run us through the automated system again. My new New Nintendo 3DS, in pretty sparkly deep red. My newest game, Story of Seasons, which is both beautiful and adorable and I have no idea WTF I'm doing. Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens with a co-worker and her husband and having an amazing time. (Finn is THE BESTEST and POE OMG POE and oh yes #ishipit.) My lovely and amazing girlfriend and her adorable kids that alternatively completely accept me in their lives despite having never met me and have no idea why I'm interested in their lives at all. Being SURROUNDED by pregnant women, like it's in season or something. (I'm at three, waiting for confirmation on a fourth.) Hunting down dragons for Shi-chan's baby theme because It's All Target's Fault. Discovering the wonderful show The Librarians and finding an interpretation of Santa Claus I have actually been able to not only accept and enjoy, but nearly been brought to tears by. Various Crazy Cat Antics because Things Are Changing and This Is Not Acceptable. Making DC Comic jokes at work and discovering people who actually get them. Being torn between wanting to write Charlie's Drama Story and wanting Antonio/Jayden cuteness and fluff. My intense hatred of Windows 10 and my fierce desire to see it burn in hellfire.

I suppose it's still life. And I'm still living it. Which leaves me feeling much better about things than I did when I started this post. ^.^

It occurred to me awhile months ago, that I haven't posted about my current life status in a long time. So ... here it is.

I'm still alive!

For anyone who has seen the news about Texas flooding, yes, there is water everywhere. Yes, Dallas and parts of Austin were that bad. While I do live around Austin, I don't live in the area that's been on the news. My area just has a lot of puddles and thunderstorms. >.O But yeah, the weather has been hot and wet lately; just the kind of summer we need! x.x

( Work has taken over my life. )

( Oh! AMAZING new supervisor! )

-Takes a deep breath- Wow. Uh. Yeah, I have Work Feels. I won't be hurt if anyone skips over that. c.c;;;

In other news, I will be even busier next month! PR Day signups will *hopefully* be up by this weekend. Still deciding on various deadlines due to various Life Drama distractions, but yes, it will happen.

I will also be moving into a bigger apartment in twenty-four days! \0/ With the new job and our lease coming up, Shi-chan and I agreed it's time. I WILL FINALLY HAVE MY OWN BEDROOM. -Cries- In the meantime there is packing and utilities to start up/shut off and stuff to go through or throw out and OMG SO MUCH STUFF. x.x But IT WILL BE WORTH IT. ♥

As for this weekend, I intend to play some World of Warcraft with a friend, and *hopefully* get more work done for Changing Tactics/Ruigi. Hopefully; characters are being difficult. But mostly I am going to relax. Because OMG WEEKEND. x.x

Today on the Yearly Holiday Rant: ( Updates )

In summary, I'm still stressed and frustrated, but trying to stay out of it. I've got two more days until the contest is over, and then just two days before Christmas. A week after that, and December is over at last. I am counting the days.

I've never been big about holidays, but I didn't mind them. This year? I'm bitter, irritated, grumpy, stressed out, and gods damn it is it January yet? >.<



On a cheerier note, so much love and appreciation for everyone who has stopped to check on me, show their support, and shared their own stories of holiday bullying. It helps. It helps A LOT. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥



* Okay, I like this person, because she's always been nice to me and helped me out, but SCREW YOU. This is the first, and *only* thing I have ever not wished or attempted to participate in. And if anyone tries to argue about me not participating? THERE WILL BE WORDS. -Fumes-
** Both Grinches came out great, and people have complemented me on both of them. No questions about why drawing them a Grinch was okay when decorating wasn't. It's also the first thing that has made people acknowledge me again after the past few days of mutual silence.

-Flops- It's been a busy week.

( Birthday 2014 )

( The optometrist! )

On the subject of Birthday Presents, I give you Beautiful Fantasy Dream Horse, given to me by my lovely girlfriend arytra. ♥

Amusing Yet True Facts:
1) I did not tell her beforehand that I used to collect Breyer horses as a kid.
2) After rosabelle asked me what 'her' name was, I decided on Rainbow before remembering that most Breyer horses are anatomically correct and come with a name. Further inspection determined that his name actually *is* Rainbow, as determined by Breyer.

( Second Birthday/Free Food Friday! )

Second Birthday Spoils! (The pie is between the plates. The cupcake and ice cream were long gone by then.)

In other news, my Nano finally broke 6000 words last night! \0/ (No, seriously.) I'm not giving up on it, but I'm doubtful I'll win. But I'm still writing as much as I can, even though it's only been a couple hundred words a day. I'm hoping to put a bigger dent into it over the remaining weekends.

I won't get too much done tomorrow though, because I have a Team Bonding thing for work. We're going to a driving range to play golf and get drunk. The other option was sitting at a bar with games. As I pointed out to my supervisor, it's better that we try and bond over an activity before we deal with the long awkward conversations. And hey, we're competitive.

Not so much me. But I am notoriously lethal with a golf club in all the worst ways, so it should be an entertainingly violent amount of Fail.

Two weeks ago, I received an e-mail from my last temp agency. ( I wasn't sure what to make of it. )

I finally made a decision. And I decided I wanted to be happy.

I called them at the end of my lunch hour Friday. It took fifteen minutes: she pretty much confirmed that all my information on file was still valid, I had worked there before but there was nothing preventing me from returning, and the only thing they needed from me was a copy of my IDs. I was technically being hired as a backup for second shift in case someone didn't show up for orientation, but it was a good chance I'd be in. It turned out the reason I had trouble recognizing/finding their phone number was because it was actually from the agency's regional office, which happens to be in Arizona. I just needed to e-mail my IDs and confirm I'd be at the next morning's orientation. I called my work to tell them I was having car trouble and wouldn't be returning from lunch, because I needed to get these things taken care of today. (Ironically, the car did start smoking. She hates stoplights in summer.)

It felt like a great weight had been lifted from my shoulders at that point. Because it was done. I decided that my happiness was more important to me than my paycheck, and it was the right decision. I could feel it.

( And then the Saturday Orientation happened. )

I'm ...

Well, there are a lot of emotions for me right now.

I'm pissed. I'm I-want-someone-fucking-fired-for-this-bullshit pissed. I confirmed over the phone that I was previously employed; I confirmed twice in the orientation that I was previously employed. People are being fired for shit like pulling up personal information on company computers, and you're telling me that the only reason I can't come back is because I didn't rank high enough? That you shouldn't have wasted my time, gotten my hopes up, and made me lose out on four hours of pay because oops you shouldn't have fucking contacted me in the first place? FUCK YOU.

I'm hurt. Heartbroken, really. Because I got my hopes up that I could go back to the company I adored, and the job I enjoyed, and all the friends there that I miss. I decided that being there was more important to me than making more money, only to be told I can't because I'm not good enough to work there. I was excited about work again. I was planning to work on my game this weekend, and figuring out all the things I'd need to do and be ready for on my first day of training. And now I'm not. Because I'm just not good enough.

I've been trying to fight off depression by being logical. I still have a job. I can keep looking for another position within the company, and hope that something comes up. I can keep looking for work elsewhere. I'm not out on my ass again, like I was before. It just means that everything is the same as it was last week.

But logic isn't as helpful as we'd like it to be when all you want to do is scream and rage and cry because everything is wrong and isn't getting better after all.


P.S. To everyone who posted for PR Day, THANK YOU! So many lovely stories! ♥ I will get to reading and commenting soon. I just ... need some time first.

Today I have been reminded of the value of two things:

First, 'Fake it 'til you make it'.

( Explaination: )

And second, Friday the 13th is, and has always been, my lucky day. ♥

1. Frozen could have easily been a slash movie. Depending on your mindset, it could still be.

2. The above thought occurred to while contemplating potential prompts for queer_fest. I really loved doing it last year, and I'm particularly proud of what I wrote. I've contemplated a few prompts to suggest, but I'm kind of hesitant. Is anyone else planning to do it this year? Who might be willing to claim a few PR prompts for me? -Bats eyelashes hopefully-

3. ( This is the PRSM Easter Box of Awesome )
I found it at Wal-Mart with Shi-chan late one night and decided It Must Be Mine. Yes, that is a stuffed Red Ranger in there. I have named him Captain Marvelous*, and he currently sits on my desk at work.

4. ( Work continues to be both FUCKING AWESOME and incredibly stressful. )

5. My work schedule now leaves me with a few hours off in the evenings, and Tuesdays and Wednesdays off. (As far as I'm concerned, this is the best schedule possible. Excluding transportation issues, obviously.) I've been trying to do work-related homework a bit and keep up with chores on my weeknights, which is ... kind of working out. This weekend I decided to be anti-social for a day just to 'recharge', so to speak, and then spent today working on fics and chatting. I may try keep this up: I feel *way* better about going to work tomorrow than I did last week.

I had other random thoughts, but for now I'm off to bed, because SLEEP.


* Captain Marvelous because as much as he's supposed to be Troy, Captain Marvelous is a much better name for a mascot/cheerleader.

Disclaimer: I love Gamers. Hardcore Gamers, Casual Gamers, people who only game once in awhile. I have friends on every end of the spectrum. I consider myself to be a Casual Gamer.

That being said, ( Gamers are assholes. )

I. AM. EMPLOYED.

Like, seriously. Really.

I applied at a staffing agency at the beginning of the week that Shi-chan recommended to me, because her company happens to hire through it. (And guess who happened to be hiring?) I didn't think I'd get the job, because I wasn't sure I had quite enough experience for what they're looking for. And to be honest, I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted it. I *LOVE* this company, but I've always been hesitant about whether I'd fit in there. I pretty much applied because NEED MONIES.

Yesterday I got a call to set up an interview for this morning, and was told if I passed the interview, I'd start on Monday.

Turns out, 'pass the interview' means show up with two forms of ID, watch a safety video, and tell them what related experience you have for the job.

I go back tomorrow morning for Q&A and to give them a headcount/assurance that yes, I really do want the job. I'll find out if I'm morning or evening shift then. (I personally prefer evenings, but it would be easier with transportation in the mornings, so we'll see.) Assuming there are no hiccups, I start my training on Monday.

Guys. I HAVE A JOB. \0/

I hate November. Have I mentioned that recently?

To be fair, this is actually the best November I've had in a long time. So much so that it's surprised me. Most of my Reasons are all ... -Handwaving- internal things. Brooding. Memories. Whatnot. It's what leads to me not being around much recently.

( NaNo! )

( Socializing! )

( Physical Therapy! )

( Shopping! )

It's been a busy couple of weeks, but in a good way. Busy means I can't think as much. And Thinking is Bad.

Today I'm browsing DeviantArt and doing laundry. I plan to stare at my Wordpad file for awhile in hopes of doing some writing, but we'll see. Beyond that? Meh. It's a laid-back day.